My Thoughts on May 16th

My thoughts on May 16th

Yesterday it begin... after arriving in Berlin the journey through these places that hold so much meaning about not only the Holocaust, but also about the people who are no longer here go share their own story began.  After our Group Discussion last night where we all reflected on the day together I was able to let my emotions and feelings settle and put some thoughts together.  Coming together as we did last night was so powerful and enriching we we were all able share together our thoughts and as a group support each other in this difficult moments.

Walking through the streets of Berlin in 2011 we sew a very different Berlin with undertones of the past that seem to appear on every block within this city.  The city is full of aspects of German reconciliation to the Holocaust and it is difficult to measure the amount of burden/guilt both previous/present/future generations will feel.  The number of monuments, memorials, and dedications (e.g. street names).  I can only wonder how much these objects still affect Jews in their everyday life so many years later.  Have they forgot?  Do they remember?  Do some continue to turn a blind eye to the situation that took place?

There were to places today that impacted me I'm ways I will have difficulty explaining.  The first stop was that of the Memorial to the Gay Victims of the Holocaust.  Being at this site I thought of those I know who are gay and who k am blessed to have in my life everyday.  These feelings resurfaced in the evening when we held our ceremony indoors to honour these victims (after it had been postponed at the site due to the rain).  Stories of those gay victims were bravely read by participants who are openly gay, their voices strong as they stood to represent not only the victim but also themselves and anyone else gay.  Following the reads the musical group (including myself) snag True Colours as everyone's emotions from the day began to poor out through the room.

I continue to struggle with what took place last night, I spoke at the discussion last night as to how grateful I am that I get to return home at the end of this and those in my life will still be there.  At the same time, I hope that instead of shunning these individuals for their personal choices in present day that we except them for who they are, rather than continuing to punish them like some have in the past.

The National Memorial for Jewish victims in Berlin was overwhelmingly large, but feel that this is necessary to protest just have big the human loss was over 6 million people).  I walked through the rows of the blocks as they changed shape, running my hand along them, walking through the rain, trying to grasp at the 'why'.  As the blocks got taller it felt as though it they were closing in we the city disappeared before my eyes. John in our group last night described it as the pathway of rows and columns as the restrictions of the Nazi's and the blocks in their varying size and shape represented the uniqueness of every person and them overcoming them.

A few trees were scattered throughout the blocks on the site, and seemed as though they were the glimmer of life and hope for the victims represented here and for the future.  I can't help but wonder though of this place in the middle of the city centre impacts the people of Berlin and Germany as it does us?  Does it continue to serve the purpose it was intended to?  Or has it just become a part of the city and blended into their routine of everyday life.

There was an enormity present in the size of the silence of the victims of the Holocaust, however, at the same time a sense of poetry emerged  in some places, maybe the voices of those victims encouraging us and other to tell their stories and not forget them.  I am still attempting to process my emotions about these places and their meanings as someone who has no personal connection I believe it will be important for me to reach out to others without the connection, to teach them how it is every human's responsibility to remember these events and respect the differences of one another that make us each so unique and beautiful.

At the end of the day a slight tinge of guilt was present as we can sleep now and we can eat now, something that these people did not have the luxury of knowing on a daily basis.  We are extremely privileged in the environment and area of the world we live it, it's not something we all think about on a regular basis, maybe we should.